When we are children, our core need is to be loved.
The love that is THE MOST important for us is the love that comes from the people who our lives depend on— our parent figures.
When our parents shame parts of who we are “you’re too sensitive” “you’re so dramatic” “your father would still be here if you weren’t so difficult” we can’t see this for what it is: a parent protecting their own pain onto us.
Instead, because we need their love (+ they are the most important people/person in our world) we internalize a belief that something is wrong with us. That WE are unloveable or unworthy.
We start to deny parts of who we are to gain approval. We betray ourselves + our own needs. This becomes a pattern of self betrayal that continues into adulthood.
When we have betrayed ourselves long-term, our relationship with ourselves becomes strained. Because we have betrayed ourselves, we don’t trust ourselves or our own word.
Healing is about restoring our relationship with ourselves.
Learning to trust ourselves + to keep promises to ourselves.
Learning to meet our own needs, follow our own passions, + love ALL parts of ourselves.
Most of us are chronically distracted by:
1. What people think of us
2. How people feel about us (especially romantic relationships where there’s fear of abandonment)
3. How our choices are being perceived by those around us
This is because we learned that if we were our true selves as children we might be shamed— or even worse, not loved.
Do you betray yourself? Do you trust your own word? #selfhealers
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